Colleection Of Messages...

Theory Of Life...
When Flood Comes The Fish Eat Ants,
Bt
When Water Dries The Ants Eat Fish!!
Life Gives Chance To Everyone.
"just wait 4ur Turn"

Jab Kisi pe bura wqt aata hai to uske
dost or uska pariwar
uske peeche khade hote hain.
Yakin na ho to kisi ki bhi shaadi ka "ALBUM"uthakar dekh lo...

Ram lila ka natak chal rha tha.
Sita ka apharan ho gya,
Ram ro rhe the-Site tum Kahan ho?
Tabhi ek bachcha khade hoker bola-stage ke peeche Bidi Pee Rhe Hai...

God in Heaven to a 9_month baby,
U R going to born on earth.
Baby cried & asked how I will talk with people
God:I had already sent an angel to earth
she will teach U.
Child:how i will pray to U
God:The angel will teach U
child:how i will learn good words.
God:angel teach U
Child:if i suffer 4m sorrow??
God:angel will be there 2 listen
Child:how do i find that angel?
God:Its very simple!!
Usually people call that Angel as..
MAA "MOTHER"

Teacher-80+90?
Sardar-100
Teacher-no,
80+90=170
Sardar-madam bachpan se suna hai
akad bakad bambay bo
80, 90 pure 100.

Din bhar ki thkaan ab mita lijiye,
Ho chuki Raat Roshni bhujha dijiye,
Ek khubsurat khawab raah dekh rha hai,
Bas palko ka parda gira lijiye...

4 sardar Shaadi me khana khane gye..
Andar gye to "SALAD" Dekh ke Bahr aa gye...
Bahr Aake 1sardar bola-
Oyer!abhi tak to Sabzi hi nhi bni Yaar...

Small thought,Big meaning
"Life is Weakest wn there r moredoubts thn trust-
But life is strongest
wen you learn hoe 2 trust inspite of d doubts..

Holi SMS

Saade rang ko galti se aap naa kora samjho,
Isi mey samaaye indradhanushi saaton rang,
Jo dikhe aapko zindagi saadagi bhari kisi ki,
To aap yun samjho satrangi hai duniya usiki,
Holi aayi satrangi rango ki bouchar laayi,
Dher saari mithai aur mitha mitha pyar laayi,
Aap ki zindagi ho mithe pyar aur khusiyon se bhari,
Jisme samaaye saaton rang yahi shubhkamna hai hamaari.

---

Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me liya samet,
Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent.

---

Pichkari ki Dhar,
Gulal ki bauchar,
Apno ka pyar,
Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar.
Happy Holi!!!!

---

Rangon se bhi rangeen zindagi hai humari, rangeeli rahe yeh bandagi hai humari,
kabhi na bigde ye pyar ki rangoli, aye mere yaar aisi HAPPY HOLI.

---

Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.

---

Rango ke tyohar mein sabhi rango ki ho bharmar,
Dher saari khushiyon se bhara ho aapka sansar,
Yahi dua hai bhagwan se hamari har bar,
Holi Mubarak ho mere yaar!

---

Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang, laaga ke thoda thoda sa rang, baja ke dholak aur mridang, khele holi hum tere sang.
Holi Mubarak!
Rango mein ghuli ladki kya laal gulabi hai
Jo dekhta hai kehta hai kya maal gulabi hai
Pichle baras tune jo bhigoya tha holi mein
Ab tak nishani ka woh rumaal gulabi hai.

---

Chadenge jab pyare rang, ek meri dosti ka rang bhi chadhana.
Lagne lagenge tumhe suhane sare rang,
Aur meri dosti ka rang chamkega hurdum tumhare sang.
Bolo sarararara....
Wish you a very mastiful and colourful Happy Holi!

---

Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
“Happy Holi”.

---

Funny Holi SMS
Me ja ja jovu hu,
Mane tharo chahero dikhto hai,
Ii thaaro kusur nathi,
Salo sab chahero aaj rangeelo hai,
Holi Mubarak!

---

Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya. Holi se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?

---

Rang barse bhige chunar wali, rang barse o rang barse bhige chunar wali..rang barse, are rang barse bhige chunar wali..re! Ab ghar jao nahi to jukham lag jayega.

---

English Holi SMS
Dipped in hues of love and trust has come the festival of Holi.
Happy Holi!!

---

Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wish you a very happy and wonderful Holi.

---

May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life. Happy Holi.

---

If wishes come in rainbow colors then I would send the brightest one to say Happy Holi.

---

A true and caring relation doesn't have to speak loud, a soft sms is just enough to express the heartiest feelings. Enjoy the festival of Holi with lot of fun.

---

Best wishes to you for a Holi filled with sweet moments and memories to cherish for long.
Happy Holi!

आदाब अर्ज है...

मेरी मोहब्बत मेरी खता बन गई
ये दीवानगी मेरी सजा बन गई|
उनकी मासूमियत पर फ़िदा हुए इस तरह
उन्हें पाने की तमन्ना जिंदगी की अदा बन गई|


वो दिल चुराके दिल अपना छुपाये जाते हैं
खिलोने जैसा वो मुझको सजाये जातें हैं|
लबों पे जबसे लिखा उसने मेरे ताजमहल
हैं यमुना इश्क की और हम नहाय जातें हैं|

Eight qualities of a Perfect Husband...

Funny Sexy Messages...

Goverment ne elaan kiya ki jiske 5 ya usse jyada bachhe hai, usko rahne ko ek ghar free mein degi.

pandit ji ke 3 bachhe thhe usne apji wife ko kaha

pandit ji: “sachayi ye hai ki hamare padosi sharma ji ke 2 bachhe mere hai, mein unko leke aata hun, kam se kam ghar to free mein mil jayega”

pandit ji dono bachhe le aaya aur ghar aake dekha, to uske 3 bachhe nahi hai

pandit ji: “hamare teeno bachhe kidhar hai?”

wife: “vo jinke thhe vo vapis le gaye“
************************************


class mein ek nayi ladki aayi to pappu ka tharki mann mein usko patane ka khayal aya

vo us ladki ke pass gaya aur bola

pappu: “agar tum 1 minute mein apna weight 500grams kam kar do to, tum bahut hi jyada sunder aur sexy lagogi, aur main tumhe pyar bhi karunga”

ladki khush hoke boli: “achha, isliye liye mujhe kya karna hoga?”

pappu: “bas apne kapde utaar do“
*********************************

ek din baap ne socha ki beta school ka kaam karta hai ya nahi,

ye dekhne ke liye bete ka school bag check kiya to useme ek condom mila.

baap gusse mein aake: “kutte, tuje sharam nahi aati is umar mein school bag mein condom rakhta hai?”

beta: “to fir mai kya karu bhonsdi ke, itni chhoti si umar mein baap ban jau?“

*******************************************************************

baba ramdev ji ek din yoga karate hue logo ko samjha rahe thhe

ramde: “aj ki aurat itne kam kapde pehnti hai ki taange, peeth, pura badan nanga dikhta hai, yaha tak ki bra tak kapdo ke ander se dikhti hai”

bheed mein se santa ki awaj aayi: “baba ji aap yoga karvao, lund khada mat karvao“

*************************************************************************

Adult Sexy Message

Boondi Ke Laddu
If NIPPLES Were Called ‘BOONDI’ In Hindi,
Then What Would BOOBS Be Called??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
BOONDI KE LADDU

( . ) ( . ) ??
Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye’.:-)...

NAAK Ka Chooha By Wasi Shah
"NAAK Ka Chooha" By Wasi Shah

Kaash Main Teri Haseen NAAK Ka Chooha Hota.
Tu Bari Chah Se Baray Maan Se Nikalti Mujhko.

Main Teri Unglion Main Sharma Kar CHIPAK Sa Jata.
Tu Jo Mujhe Apni Unglion Se Marora Karti.

Main Tere Nakhoon May Latak Sa Jaata.
Phir Tu Apni Sahelion Se CHUPATI Mujhko.

Main Unko Dekh Kar DARR Sa Jata.
Tu Duniya Se Chup Kar Kahin CHIPKATI Mujhko.

Aur Is Tarhan Main Amar Ho Jata.
Kaash Main Teri Haseen Naak Ka Chooha Hota....

Height Of Misunderstanding
Height Of Misunderstanding:

IPL T20 Flash News!

"All Boys Performed Well Last Night.
I Was Fully Satisfied"

- Shilpa Shetty


Duniya Mein Sab Se Himmat Wala Kaun?
Ans:
Dhobi




Kabhi Bhi Kisi Ke Ghar Jaa Kar
Koi Bol Sakta Hai
Sahib Bibi Ji Ko Bolo
Kapde Nikal Kar Rakhe
Mein Abhi Aa Ke Leta Hu...

Very Sexy Female
A Very Sexy N Attractive Female
Employee To Her Boss:

Sir, Will You Remove Something
From My Breast?

Boss:
Wow! What's That?
Ur Eyes, Sir !!!!!...

Adult Sexy SMS
Duniya Mein Sab Se Himmat Wala Kaun?
Ans:
Dhobi




Kabhi Bhi Kisi Ke Ghar Jaa Kar
Koi Bol Sakta Hai
Sahib Bibi Ji Ko Bolo
Kapde Nikal Kar Rakhe
Mein Abhi Aa Ke Leta Hu...
A Sardar Was Walking
With Her Pregnant Wife
His Friend Come And Asked:
With Your Pregnant Wife Where Are You Going...!

He Said:
We Are Going To Pizza Hut
Because There Are Delivery Free....


Beti Kuch To Pehan Le
1980 Girls:
Maa Mei Jeans Pehanungi

Maa :
Nahin Beti Log Kya Kahengey ?

2008 Girls:
Maa Mein Mini Skirt Pehanungi

Maa:
Pehen Le Beti Kuch To Pehan Le!.

Murge Bhi Condom Pahanne Lage
Sardar Ji Ne Amlet Banane K Liye Anda Toda
To Dekha Anda Ekdam Khali Tha

Sardar Bola Iski Maa Ka Bhosda:
Aajkal Murge Bhi Condom Pahanne Lage..?...

Padosi K Sath Sex
Ek Aurat Apne Padosi K Sath Sex Kar Rahi Thi
K Tbhi Uska Pati Aa Gaya Aur Padosi Ko Pitne Laga

Patni Boli:
Maro Aur Maro Prai Aurat Pe Hath Dalta Hai
Itne Me Padosi Uske Pati Ko Pitne Laga

Patni Fir Boli:
Maro Aur Maro
Na Karta Hai Na Karne Daita Hai...

Larka Larki Say
Larka Larki Say:
Tum Gana Bohot Acha Gatey Hoee ..

Larki:
Nahe Yaar Main To Sirf Bathroom Singer Hon

Boy:
Acha...
To Kisi Din Bulao Na
Dono Mil K Mehfil Jamatay Hain...

Sex Kartay Hoay Zyada Maza
Boy To Girl:
Sex Kartay Hoay Zyada Maza
Larki Ko Aata Hai Ya Larkay Koe?

Girl:
Agar Tum Apnay Kaan(Ear) Main Ungle(Fingure) Dalo Gay
To Kaan Ko Maza Aata Hai
Ya Unglee Koe...

Sardar Kay Ghar 7 Betian
Sardar Kay Ghar 7 Betian Hogai
Tu Uss Nay Akhbar May Aid Diya:
Munda Paida Karan Tu Tariqa Dasoo

Bengal Say Letter Aya :
Bv Ko Mochli Diyo

Haryana Say Letter Aya:
Bv Nu Milk Shake Diyo

Newyork Say Letter Aya:
Bv Nu Coke Diyo

Pakistan Say Letter Aya:
Ek Mouqa Sanu Diyo...

Classroom Of Some Small Children
There Is A Classroom Of Some Small Children (5-7yrs)

Obviously There Was
One Ordinary Boy (Bablu)
And A Smart One (Pappu)

The Dialogue Between The Two
And The Lady Teacher Goes Something
Like This:

Bablu:
Teacher, Teacher! Is Bus Male Or Female?

Teacher:
Thinking.......

Pappu:
Teacher, Teacher! It Is Female"

Bablu:
Kyun?

Pappu:
Kyun Ki Sab Log Uspe Charhte Hain

Teacher Is Pareshan
While Bablu Gets Doubt

Bablu:
Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sab Us Pe Charhte Hain
To Uske Bacche Kyon Nahin Hote?

Teacher Is More Pareshan

Pappu:
Kyun Ki Sab Us Par Peeche Se Charhte Hain

Teacher Is Now Hiding Her Face
Bablu Gets Another Doubt

Bablu:
Maana Sabhi Peeche Se Charhte Hain
But Driver Aur Conductor
To Aagay Se Charhte Hain
Phir Bachche Kyon Nahin Hote?

Teacher Is Sweating
As It Is Getting Too Much To Handle

Pappu Replies:
Kyun Ki Woh Dono Topi Pehan Ke Charhte Hain

Teacher Faints !!!!!!!...

Tumhare Underwear Mein
A Sardar Asked His Frend:
Kya Tumhare Underwear Mein
Suraakh Hain?

Friend Replied:
No

Sardar Said:
To Phir Taangein Kahan
Se Daalta Hai Saalay
...

10 Saal Baad
Pathan Hansay Ja Raha Tha..

Kisi Ne Pocha:
Khan Kion Hans Rahe
Ho?

10 Saal Baad Mera Utha Hai..

Sath Wala Bola:

Aap Ne Mera Pakra HAI..!...

Panties n Bra
Why Did English Teacher
Slap Santa?


Because Santa Asked Her:
Y Is Bra Is
Singular
When It Cover 2
&
Panties
Plural When It Cover
Only One?...
Always Fuck Teachar
Never Fuck Police Woman
Coz
She Said Stop And Hands Up

Never Fuck Naresh
Coz She Said Next Pls

But Always Fuck Teachar
Coz


She Said Repit This 5 Times
Bra Tight Ho Jati Hai
Girl:
Maa Bajo Wake Ladke Ko Dekhkar
Meri Bra Tight Ho Jati Hai

Maa:
Beti Ek Bar Bina Bra Ke Kameej Pehenkar Jaa
Uski Pant Tight Ho Jayegi..

Sex Karo Daily
Sex Karo Daily
Agar Wo Mil Gaye Akeli
Agar Na Mile Akeli To Pakar Lo Uski Saheli
Agar Na Mile Sahali To Zindabad Hatheli
Lekin Sex Karo Daily...


Ek Ladaki Apani Bua Ji Ke Sath
Bathroom Me Naha Rahi Thi
To Usake Bua Ki Chuchi Dikhi,

Ladaki Boli:
Bua Ji Ye Kya Hai,

To Bua Ji Boli:
Tarch Hai

Feer Vahi Ladaki Dusre Din Ma Ke Bur Ko Dekha
To Ladaki Boli:
Ye Kya Hai,

To Ma Ne Bola:
Beti Ye Gufa Hai

Feer Vahi Ladaki 1 Din
Apane Papa Ka Lund Dekha
Aur Boli Papa:
Ye Kya Hai ,

Papa Ne Bola:
Beti Ye Sap Hai,

1 Din Raat Ko Us Ladaki Ke Papa Ne
Usaki Mami Ko Pel Rahe The
To Ladaki Uth Gayi Dhere Se Apani Bua Ji
Ke Pass Bolati Hai:
Bua Ji Apani Tarch Do
Mami Ki Gufa Me Papa Ka Kala Sap Gus Gaya Hai...

The Reading Test!

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
Most people can't.

If you make a mistake you MUST start over or it won't work.


This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is stupid cat
This is person cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is sixty cat
This is seconds cat

Now you didn't understand anything and you find this test quite stupid.

So go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet'cha you can't resist passing it on.

Husband Aur Wife

Woh kaun thi


Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne

Hello Kiya,

Wife- Koun Thi Wo?

Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi
Puchegi






wife hit her husband with frying pan




Husband: What was that for...?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: Wha now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.



Message of the year




Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!

Why? Very simple...

A woman does not have a wife..!!!



Husband wife mein ladai
ho gayi

Wife:Zeher.

Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:



Man: Sir, my wife is missing.


Man: Sir, my wife is missing.

Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police
station me complain dijiyee.


Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha



Why did u shoot ur wife ?
This is the best......


Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.




How women call their husband in first 6 years


How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

Yr 1. Janu

Yr 2. O jee.

Yr 3. Sunte ho?

Yr 4. O bunty k pappa

Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?

Yr 6. Tum aate ho yamain aaon?



Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay


Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:

Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main herhaftay tumhe change karta




Sarda ki wife inspecter se!


Sardar ki wife inspecter se!

Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi
aaye:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:-)



1 horror movie dekhi


Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere aage


kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,

Wife:Kaun si movie thi?

Husband: Apni shadi ki..