जरा हंसो तो...

बेचारा मर्द

मर्द अगर औरत पर हाथ उठाए तो ज़ालिम , औरत से पिट जाये तो बुजदिल
औरत को किसी के साथ देख कर लड़े तो इर्शालू, अगर कुछ न कहे तो बेघैरत
अगर घर से बहार रहे तो आवारा , घर में रहे तो नाकारा
बचों को डांटे तो ज़ालिम , न डांटे तो लापरवा
हाय मर्द बेचारा जिसके जीवन मे सिर्फ दर्द ही दर्द है
और उपरसे कहते है की मर्द वही होता है जिसको दर्द नही होता

एक राबी
एक शराबी ' विवाह ' फिल्म देख कर घर आया
और अपने बिवीसे बोला -
" तुझे पीकर मै देखू मुजे हक़ है ---
तू भी पीती है दारू मुजे शक है -
माँ
माँ की दुवा खाली नही जाती
माँ की बददुवा टाली नही जाती
बर्तन मांज कर भी माँ ३-४ बच्चे पाल लेती है
लेकिन दुल्हन आने के बाद ३-४ बेटोंसेभी एक माँ पाली नही जाती
सरदार का सपना

सरदार को सपनेमे किसी लड़किने थप्पड़ मारा । दुसरे दिन सरदार ने अपना बैंक अकाउंट तुरंत बंद करवा दिया. क्योंकि बैंक मे लिखा था " हम आप के सपनोंको हकीकत मे बदलते है "

ट्राफिक पोलिस

एक सरदारजी ट्राफिक पोलिस के interview के लिए गया
interviewer :- अगर एक आदमी गधेकी सवारी करते हुए रोड से जा रहा है और उसने हेलमेट नहीं पहना है , तो क्या आप उसे दण्डित करोगे ?
सरदारजी :- नहीं
interviewer :- क्यों ?
सरदारजी :- क्योंकि हेलमेट २ व्हीलर के लिए जरुरी है ... ४ व्हीलर के लिए नहीं

दिवार के उस तरफ

चिंटू :- हमारे यहाँ एक ऐसी चीज है की हम दिवार की उस तरफ का भी देख सकते है ...
पिंटू :- सचमुछ ... ऐसी क्या चीज है तुम्हारे यहाँ ?
चिंटू :- खिड़की !




Taj Mahal - A symbol of love?


We know TAJ MAHAL as a Symbol of Love.
But the other lesser known facts :

1. Mumtaz was Shahjahan's 4th wife, out of his 7 wives.
2. Shahjahan killed Mumtaj's husband 2 marry her.
3. Mumtaj died in her 14th delivery.......
4. He then married Mumtaj's sister.


Question arises
WHAT IS LOVE ??

See this and you will understand:
As a Bachelor :-

Takdir hai, magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
lekin mumtaz nahi milti!!!!!!!!!

As a Lover :-

Takdir hai, magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
mumtaz mil gayi hai magar,
wohSHAADI nahi karti!!!!!!!

As a married one :-

Takdir hai, magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
lekin mumtaz nahi MARTI!!!!!!!!

After 5 years of Marriage :-

Tajmahal kya cheez hai,
isse badi imarat banaunga,
Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thi,
tuzhe to meinZINDA dafnaunga!!!!!!!!!

हसी के बुलबुले...

एक कॉलेज स्टूडंट लडकी, एक बार क्लासमें लेट आ गई

टिचर : तूम आज लेट क्यो हो गई?

लडकी: सर, एक लडका मेरा पिछा कर रहा था.

टिचर : पर उससे तो तुम जल्दी आना चाहिए थी, फिर लेट कैसे हो गई.

लडकी : सर वह लडका बहुत धीरे धीरे चल रहा था
*********************************************************************************************************

विरु छतपर खडे रहकर दारु पिकर चिल्ला रहा था.
विरु - कुत्तो कमिनो ... मै तुम्हारा खुन पी जाऊंगा...
तभी बसंती वहा आगई और उसने पुछा -
बसंती - विरु ... क्या हुवा..
विरु - बसंती ॥ देखोना ये बडे शोरुम वाले बडे कमिने और धोखेबाज निकले... मैने उनसे 2 टन का एसी खरीदा... घर आकर वजन करके देखता हूं तो सिर्फ 35 किलो का निकला...
***************************************************************
विनोद :- ( अपने फ्रेंड अजय से ) यार जरा तुम्हारे सुखी संसार का राज तो बताओ. जब देखो तब तुम्हारे घर से तुम्हारी और तुम्हारे बीवी की हसनेकी आवाजे आती रहती है
अजय :- अरे काहेका खाक सुखी संसार, जब देखो तब उसे गुस्सा आता है. और जब उसे गुस्सा आता है ता वह सरे बर्तन मुजे फ़ेंक के मरती है. अगर निशाना सही हुवा तो वो हंसती है और अगर निशाना गलत हुवा तो मई हँसता हूँ .
**************************************************************************************************************
एक बार एक सरदार का पडोसी मर गया. सरदारने उसके घर जाकर पूछा " बॉडी आ गयी क्या "
तभी अमबुलंस आ गयी
तो सरदार खुशीसे बोला - '' क्या लम्बी उम्र है... नाम लेतेही आ गया साला "
**********************************************************************************************************
एक टिचर क्लासमें पढा रहे थे, जब उनके खयालमें आया की राजु लगातार खिडकीके बाहर कुछ देख रहा है.
टिचर - राजु
राजु शायद बाहर देखनेमें इतना खो गया था की उसे टिचर की आवाज आई ही नही.
टिचर - (राजुकी तरफ चॉक फेंकते हूए ) राजु... बाहर क्या देख रहे हो.
राजु - ( हडबडाकर ) बंदर
टिचर - ( गुस्सेसे ) यहां मेरे होते हूए..
टिचर - ( अपनी गल्ती सुधारते हूए ) ... मतलब यहां क्लासमें मेरे होते हूए तुम्हारी बाहर देखनेकी हिम्मत कैसे हूई...
***************************************************************************************************************




Colleection Of Messages...

Theory Of Life...
When Flood Comes The Fish Eat Ants,
Bt
When Water Dries The Ants Eat Fish!!
Life Gives Chance To Everyone.
"just wait 4ur Turn"

Jab Kisi pe bura wqt aata hai to uske
dost or uska pariwar
uske peeche khade hote hain.
Yakin na ho to kisi ki bhi shaadi ka "ALBUM"uthakar dekh lo...

Ram lila ka natak chal rha tha.
Sita ka apharan ho gya,
Ram ro rhe the-Site tum Kahan ho?
Tabhi ek bachcha khade hoker bola-stage ke peeche Bidi Pee Rhe Hai...

God in Heaven to a 9_month baby,
U R going to born on earth.
Baby cried & asked how I will talk with people
God:I had already sent an angel to earth
she will teach U.
Child:how i will pray to U
God:The angel will teach U
child:how i will learn good words.
God:angel teach U
Child:if i suffer 4m sorrow??
God:angel will be there 2 listen
Child:how do i find that angel?
God:Its very simple!!
Usually people call that Angel as..
MAA "MOTHER"

Teacher-80+90?
Sardar-100
Teacher-no,
80+90=170
Sardar-madam bachpan se suna hai
akad bakad bambay bo
80, 90 pure 100.

Din bhar ki thkaan ab mita lijiye,
Ho chuki Raat Roshni bhujha dijiye,
Ek khubsurat khawab raah dekh rha hai,
Bas palko ka parda gira lijiye...

4 sardar Shaadi me khana khane gye..
Andar gye to "SALAD" Dekh ke Bahr aa gye...
Bahr Aake 1sardar bola-
Oyer!abhi tak to Sabzi hi nhi bni Yaar...

Small thought,Big meaning
"Life is Weakest wn there r moredoubts thn trust-
But life is strongest
wen you learn hoe 2 trust inspite of d doubts..

























Holi SMS



Saade rang ko galti se aap naa kora samjho,
Isi mey samaaye indradhanushi saaton rang,
Jo dikhe aapko zindagi saadagi bhari kisi ki,
To aap yun samjho satrangi hai duniya usiki,
Holi aayi satrangi rango ki bouchar laayi,
Dher saari mithai aur mitha mitha pyar laayi,
Aap ki zindagi ho mithe pyar aur khusiyon se bhari,
Jisme samaaye saaton rang yahi shubhkamna hai hamaari.


Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me liya samet,
Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent.


Pichkari ki Dhar,
Gulal ki bauchar,
Apno ka pyar,
Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar.
Happy Holi!!!!


Rangon se bhi rangeen zindagi hai humari, rangeeli rahe yeh bandagi hai humari,
kabhi na bigde ye pyar ki rangoli, aye mere yaar aisi HAPPY HOLI.


Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.


Rango ke tyohar mein sabhi rango ki ho bharmar,
Dher saari khushiyon se bhara ho aapka sansar,
Yahi dua hai bhagwan se hamari har bar,
Holi Mubarak ho mere yaar!


Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang, laaga ke thoda thoda sa rang, baja ke dholak aur mridang, khele holi hum tere sang.
Holi Mubarak!
Rango mein ghuli ladki kya laal gulabi hai
Jo dekhta hai kehta hai kya maal gulabi hai
Pichle baras tune jo bhigoya tha holi mein
Ab tak nishani ka woh rumaal gulabi hai.


Chadenge jab pyare rang, ek meri dosti ka rang bhi chadhana.
Lagne lagenge tumhe suhane sare rang,
Aur meri dosti ka rang chamkega hurdum tumhare sang.
Bolo sarararara....
Wish you a very mastiful and colourful Happy Holi!


Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
“Happy Holi”.


Funny Holi SMS
Me ja ja jovu hu,
Mane tharo chahero dikhto hai,
Ii thaaro kusur nathi,
Salo sab chahero aaj rangeelo hai,
Holi Mubarak!


Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya. Holi se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?


Rang barse bhige chunar wali, rang barse o rang barse bhige chunar wali..rang barse, are rang barse bhige chunar wali..re! Ab ghar jao nahi to jukham lag jayega.


English Holi SMS
Dipped in hues of love and trust has come the festival of Holi.
Happy Holi!!


Bright colors, water balloons, lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wish you a very happy and wonderful Holi.


May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life. Happy Holi.


If wishes come in rainbow colors then I would send the brightest one to say Happy Holi.


A true and caring relation doesn't have to speak loud, a soft sms is just enough to express the heartiest feelings. Enjoy the festival of Holi with lot of fun.


Best wishes to you for a Holi filled with sweet moments and memories to cherish for long.
Happy Holi!

आदाब अर्ज है...

मेरी मोहब्बत मेरी खता बन गई
ये दीवानगी मेरी सजा बन गई|
उनकी मासूमियत पर फ़िदा हुए इस तरह
उन्हें पाने की तमन्ना जिंदगी की अदा बन गई|


वो दिल चुराके दिल अपना छुपाये जाते हैं
खिलोने जैसा वो मुझको सजाये जातें हैं|
लबों पे जबसे लिखा उसने मेरे ताजमहल
हैं यमुना इश्क की और हम नहाय जातें हैं|

Eight qualities of a Perfect Husband...

Funny Sexy Messages...

Goverment ne elaan kiya ki jiske 5 ya usse jyada bachhe hai, usko rahne ko ek ghar free mein degi.

pandit ji ke 3 bachhe thhe usne apji wife ko kaha

pandit ji: “sachayi ye hai ki hamare padosi sharma ji ke 2 bachhe mere hai, mein unko leke aata hun, kam se kam ghar to free mein mil jayega”

pandit ji dono bachhe le aaya aur ghar aake dekha, to uske 3 bachhe nahi hai

pandit ji: “hamare teeno bachhe kidhar hai?”

wife: “vo jinke thhe vo vapis le gaye
************************************


class mein ek nayi ladki aayi to pappu ka tharki mann mein usko patane ka khayal aya

vo us ladki ke pass gaya aur bola

pappu: “agar tum 1 minute mein apna weight 500grams kam kar do to, tum bahut hi jyada sunder aur sexy lagogi, aur main tumhe pyar bhi karunga”

ladki khush hoke boli: “achha, isliye liye mujhe kya karna hoga?”

pappu: “bas apne kapde utaar do
*********************************

ek din baap ne socha ki beta school ka kaam karta hai ya nahi,

ye dekhne ke liye bete ka school bag check kiya to useme ek condom mila.

baap gusse mein aake: “kutte, tuje sharam nahi aati is umar mein school bag mein condom rakhta hai?”

beta: “to fir mai kya karu bhonsdi ke, itni chhoti si umar mein baap ban jau?“

*******************************************************************


baba ramdev ji ek din yoga karate hue logo ko samjha rahe thhe

ramde: “aj ki aurat itne kam kapde pehnti hai ki taange, peeth, pura badan nanga dikhta hai, yaha tak ki bra tak kapdo ke ander se dikhti hai”

bheed mein se santa ki awaj aayi: “baba ji aap yoga karvao, lund khada mat karvao

*************************************************************************





Adult Sexy Message


Boondi Ke Laddu
If NIPPLES Were Called ‘BOONDI’ In Hindi,
Then What Would BOOBS Be Called??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
BOONDI KE LADDU

( . ) ( . ) ??
Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye’.:-)...

NAAK Ka Chooha By Wasi Shah
"NAAK Ka Chooha" By Wasi Shah

Kaash Main Teri Haseen NAAK Ka Chooha Hota.
Tu Bari Chah Se Baray Maan Se Nikalti Mujhko.

Main Teri Unglion Main Sharma Kar CHIPAK Sa Jata.
Tu Jo Mujhe Apni Unglion Se Marora Karti.

Main Tere Nakhoon May Latak Sa Jaata.
Phir Tu Apni Sahelion Se CHUPATI Mujhko.

Main Unko Dekh Kar DARR Sa Jata.
Tu Duniya Se Chup Kar Kahin CHIPKATI Mujhko.

Aur Is Tarhan Main Amar Ho Jata.
Kaash Main Teri Haseen Naak Ka Chooha Hota....

Height Of Misunderstanding
Height Of Misunderstanding:

IPL T20 Flash News!

"All Boys Performed Well Last Night.
I Was Fully Satisfied"

- Shilpa Shetty


Duniya Mein Sab Se Himmat Wala Kaun?
Ans:
Dhobi




Kabhi Bhi Kisi Ke Ghar Jaa Kar
Koi Bol Sakta Hai
Sahib Bibi Ji Ko Bolo
Kapde Nikal Kar Rakhe
Mein Abhi Aa Ke Leta Hu...

Very Sexy Female
A Very Sexy N Attractive Female
Employee To Her Boss:

Sir, Will You Remove Something
From My Breast?

Boss:
Wow! What's That?
Ur Eyes, Sir !!!!!...

Adult Sexy SMS
Duniya Mein Sab Se Himmat Wala Kaun?
Ans:
Dhobi




Kabhi Bhi Kisi Ke Ghar Jaa Kar
Koi Bol Sakta Hai
Sahib Bibi Ji Ko Bolo
Kapde Nikal Kar Rakhe
Mein Abhi Aa Ke Leta Hu...
A Sardar Was Walking
With Her Pregnant Wife
His Friend Come And Asked:
With Your Pregnant Wife Where Are You Going...!

He Said:
We Are Going To Pizza Hut
Because There Are Delivery Free....


Beti Kuch To Pehan Le
1980 Girls:
Maa Mei Jeans Pehanungi

Maa :
Nahin Beti Log Kya Kahengey ?

2008 Girls:
Maa Mein Mini Skirt Pehanungi

Maa:
Pehen Le Beti Kuch To Pehan Le!.

Murge Bhi Condom Pahanne Lage
Sardar Ji Ne Amlet Banane K Liye Anda Toda
To Dekha Anda Ekdam Khali Tha

Sardar Bola Iski Maa Ka Bhosda:
Aajkal Murge Bhi Condom Pahanne Lage..?...

Padosi K Sath Sex
Ek Aurat Apne Padosi K Sath Sex Kar Rahi Thi
K Tbhi Uska Pati Aa Gaya Aur Padosi Ko Pitne Laga

Patni Boli:
Maro Aur Maro Prai Aurat Pe Hath Dalta Hai
Itne Me Padosi Uske Pati Ko Pitne Laga

Patni Fir Boli:
Maro Aur Maro
Na Karta Hai Na Karne Daita Hai...

Larka Larki Say
Larka Larki Say:
Tum Gana Bohot Acha Gatey Hoee ..

Larki:
Nahe Yaar Main To Sirf Bathroom Singer Hon

Boy:
Acha...
To Kisi Din Bulao Na
Dono Mil K Mehfil Jamatay Hain...

Sex Kartay Hoay Zyada Maza
Boy To Girl:
Sex Kartay Hoay Zyada Maza
Larki Ko Aata Hai Ya Larkay Koe?

Girl:
Agar Tum Apnay Kaan(Ear) Main Ungle(Fingure) Dalo Gay
To Kaan Ko Maza Aata Hai
Ya Unglee Koe...

Sardar Kay Ghar 7 Betian
Sardar Kay Ghar 7 Betian Hogai
Tu Uss Nay Akhbar May Aid Diya:
Munda Paida Karan Tu Tariqa Dasoo

Bengal Say Letter Aya :
Bv Ko Mochli Diyo

Haryana Say Letter Aya:
Bv Nu Milk Shake Diyo

Newyork Say Letter Aya:
Bv Nu Coke Diyo

Pakistan Say Letter Aya:
Ek Mouqa Sanu Diyo...

Classroom Of Some Small Children
There Is A Classroom Of Some Small Children (5-7yrs)

Obviously There Was
One Ordinary Boy (Bablu)
And A Smart One (Pappu)

The Dialogue Between The Two
And The Lady Teacher Goes Something
Like This:

Bablu:
Teacher, Teacher! Is Bus Male Or Female?

Teacher:
Thinking.......

Pappu:
Teacher, Teacher! It Is Female"

Bablu:
Kyun?

Pappu:
Kyun Ki Sab Log Uspe Charhte Hain

Teacher Is Pareshan
While Bablu Gets Doubt

Bablu:
Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sab Us Pe Charhte Hain
To Uske Bacche Kyon Nahin Hote?

Teacher Is More Pareshan

Pappu:
Kyun Ki Sab Us Par Peeche Se Charhte Hain

Teacher Is Now Hiding Her Face
Bablu Gets Another Doubt

Bablu:
Maana Sabhi Peeche Se Charhte Hain
But Driver Aur Conductor
To Aagay Se Charhte Hain
Phir Bachche Kyon Nahin Hote?

Teacher Is Sweating
As It Is Getting Too Much To Handle

Pappu Replies:
Kyun Ki Woh Dono Topi Pehan Ke Charhte Hain

Teacher Faints !!!!!!!...

Tumhare Underwear Mein
A Sardar Asked His Frend:
Kya Tumhare Underwear Mein
Suraakh Hain?

Friend Replied:
No

Sardar Said:
To Phir Taangein Kahan
Se Daalta Hai Saalay
...

10 Saal Baad
Pathan Hansay Ja Raha Tha..

Kisi Ne Pocha:
Khan Kion Hans Rahe
Ho?

10 Saal Baad Mera Utha Hai..

Sath Wala Bola:

Aap Ne Mera Pakra HAI..!...

Panties n Bra
Why Did English Teacher
Slap Santa?


Because Santa Asked Her:
Y Is Bra Is
Singular
When It Cover 2
&
Panties
Plural When It Cover
Only One?...
Always Fuck Teachar
Never Fuck Police Woman
Coz
She Said Stop And Hands Up

Never Fuck Naresh
Coz She Said Next Pls

But Always Fuck Teachar
Coz


She Said Repit This 5 Times
Bra Tight Ho Jati Hai
Girl:
Maa Bajo Wake Ladke Ko Dekhkar
Meri Bra Tight Ho Jati Hai

Maa:
Beti Ek Bar Bina Bra Ke Kameej Pehenkar Jaa
Uski Pant Tight Ho Jayegi..

Sex Karo Daily
Sex Karo Daily
Agar Wo Mil Gaye Akeli
Agar Na Mile Akeli To Pakar Lo Uski Saheli
Agar Na Mile Sahali To Zindabad Hatheli
Lekin Sex Karo Daily...


Ek Ladaki Apani Bua Ji Ke Sath
Bathroom Me Naha Rahi Thi
To Usake Bua Ki Chuchi Dikhi,

Ladaki Boli:
Bua Ji Ye Kya Hai,

To Bua Ji Boli:
Tarch Hai

Feer Vahi Ladaki Dusre Din Ma Ke Bur Ko Dekha
To Ladaki Boli:
Ye Kya Hai,

To Ma Ne Bola:
Beti Ye Gufa Hai

Feer Vahi Ladaki 1 Din
Apane Papa Ka Lund Dekha
Aur Boli Papa:
Ye Kya Hai ,

Papa Ne Bola:
Beti Ye Sap Hai,

1 Din Raat Ko Us Ladaki Ke Papa Ne
Usaki Mami Ko Pel Rahe The
To Ladaki Uth Gayi Dhere Se Apani Bua Ji
Ke Pass Bolati Hai:
Bua Ji Apani Tarch Do
Mami Ki Gufa Me Papa Ka Kala Sap Gus Gaya Hai...





The Reading Test!

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
Most people can't.

If you make a mistake you MUST start over or it won't work.


This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is stupid cat
This is person cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is sixty cat
This is seconds cat

Now you didn't understand anything and you find this test quite stupid.

So go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet'cha you can't resist passing it on.

Husband Aur Wife


Woh kaun thi


Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne

Hello Kiya,

Wife- Koun Thi Wo?

Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi
Puchegi






wife hit her husband with frying pan




Husband: What was that for...?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: Wha now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.



Message of the year




Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!

Why? Very simple...

A woman does not have a wife..!!!



Husband wife mein ladai
ho gayi

Wife:Zeher.

Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:



Man: Sir, my wife is missing.


Man: Sir, my wife is missing.

Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police
station me complain dijiyee.


Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha



Why did u shoot ur wife ?
This is the best......


Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.




How women call their husband in first 6 years


How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

Yr 1. Janu

Yr 2. O jee.

Yr 3. Sunte ho?

Yr 4. O bunty k pappa

Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?

Yr 6. Tum aate ho yamain aaon?



Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay


Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:

Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main herhaftay tumhe change karta




Sarda ki wife inspecter se!


Sardar ki wife inspecter se!

Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi
aaye:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:-)



1 horror movie dekhi


Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere aage


kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,

Wife:Kaun si movie thi?

Husband: Apni shadi ki..


AAja Hansle!!!!!!




2 Sardar
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha !


Sardar and Police
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.



Doctor And Sardar .
Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Sardar and Home
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

Sardar and prayer
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khote de puttar 1
vari ticket to le le"

The real
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Sardar and Hitler
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check
karna tha na"

Sardar and Computer
Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

Two Sardars
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train
kya cheez hai?

Sardar and Practical Exam
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know..
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

संता और बंता



संता और बंता अमेरिका गये|उन्हें होटल की १२६वीं मंजिल पर कमरा मिला|पहले दिन सैर-सपाटे से वापस लौटे तो पता चला की होटल की बिजली गुल है|मजबूरी में दोनों सीडियां चड़ने लगे|१० वीं मंजिल पर पहुंचे तो
संता ने बंता से कहा-यार,मुझे कुछ कहना है|
बंता -बोल ना|

संता-नहीं बाद में बताऊंगा|
जब ५० वीं मंजिल पे पहुंचे तो
संता ने कहा की मुझे कुछ कहना है,लेकिन बंता के पूछने पर उसने फिर वही कहा की बाद में बतायेगा |जब दोनों १०० वीं मंजिल पर पहूंचे तो संता ने धीरे से कुछ कहा और बंता के पूछने पर कुछ नहीं कह दिया|आखिरकार दोनों अपनी मंजिल पर पहुंचे तो संता ने फिर कुछ कहने की गुजारिश की|
बंता ने कहा की अब बोल नहीं तो तुझे नीचे फैंक दूंगा|संता डरते -डरते बंता से बोला-यार कमरे की चाबी तो नीचे ही रह गई|

Sardar jokes...


Sardar Jokes

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"

Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!


Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..

Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!

Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!


Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !

Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.

Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!


Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.

Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?


Santa meets his friend Bunta

Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!

Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?

Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!


Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.

Banta : Kyoo Ji ?

Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.


Phone Ki Ganti Baji.

Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.

Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.

Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...

Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!

Santa : Aapne nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.

Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.


Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...

Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!

Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.


Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.

Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.

Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.

Santa : Kaise?

Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.

Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!

Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.

Santa : How does that help?

Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!

Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.

Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .

Wife asks why...

sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10